Love

How do I keep loving, when my friends keep leaving without a single goodbye or apology to me? Why do I keep loving, if my trust just keeps getting dashed to pieces every time someone says one more unkind thing? I guess the question that I'm wrestling with is, how can I afford to keep on loving? It does nothing for me except hurt my heart again and again. And then I turn to His word: "There is no fear in love, for perfect love casts out fear...whoever fears has not perfected in love." I can't be afraid of what others will do to me, or say to me. I cannot be afraid. If I am a daughter of God I cannot afford that luxury. Later John writes that I can't love God and hate my brother. Love isn't exsclusive. Love isn't only to people I can trust. Love extends to anybody and everybody no matter what their background, position or place in life. And until I realize that I can never truly love God.
Christ first came to love us when we did not know him, did not care about him. Christ loved all, despite the fact that he knew he would be betrayed. As he hung, soaked in blook and crying out in agony on the cross he didn't think about what he "got" for love. Christ's love is total, unconditional.
What about me? In my heart I know there is only one choice. I have to keep loving. I have to open my arms, embrace the world and love without reservations, without a thought of what it owuld do for me. Past hurt, past anger I must love. I must love until I am so hurt and exhausted that at the end of each day I must again, fling myself on Jesus and cry for mercy. I have no choice. Christ expects no less.